Tag Archives: daughter

Fatherhood

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love my kids more than life itself. I feel as though I have failed in many areas, but not in fatherhood. I’m a great dad. I wear it as a badge of honor. I’m proud of that accomplishment. It feels second nature to me. It’s not a hard concept. Play with them, feed them, hold them when they cry, teach them, talk to them on their level, be stern when needed, but do so with love and compassion. That’s not to say that parenting is easy. It’s certainly not for the faint of heart. It’s exhausting and painful. It is unrewarding and often times feels like too much to handle.

Last night, all of us went in separate directions with various activities. With 4 kids, this tends to happen a lot. The 16-year-old had a choir concert at the school, so mom and the 5-year-old went to that. I love seeing her perform, but it gets so packed and it’s hard to get all of us into the small auditorium. The oldest kid was off having dinner with her grandparents after helping with some chores at their house. I decided to take my 8-year-old out for a little 1 on 1 daddy/daughter time.

Ever since my wife was battling cancer, Mo (8) sees a school counselor once a week, sometimes every other week. She really enjoys it. Gives her someone to talk to without fear. The counselor then will relay messages to us as she sees fit. Yesterday we received an email with a status update. She said that our daughter was definitely holding on to a lot of stress and suggested that we keep things as positive for her as possible. She tends to hold everything back and bury it down deep. Occasionally, I can get her to open up. I figured a little dinner with just the two of us would help.

This kid never surprises me. She’s so smart and articulate. A beautiful soul that loves daringly and cares deeply. After we ordered our dinner, I asked her what has been on her mind. I asked her what she was scared of and what bothered her. Usually, I have to drag it out of her, but she was open from the get go. She is afraid that my wife and I are going to get a divorce. Things have been tough recently, but we are working diligently to make everything work and keep this family together. What she said next, I wasn’t prepared for. She told me she was scared that because of my health problems (knee, back, weight) that I was going to die soon. This was like a shotgun blast to the chest and it totally caught me off guard.

All of a sudden, I’m realizing that maybe I’m not being the best dad I can be. I’m not making my health a priority. The drinking and late nights out have caught up with me. My health has deteriorated in the last two years. I’ve gained a devastating amount of weight. I was going to be dead by 40 if I didn’t start making the necessary changes now. If not for myself, then for my daughters.

After assuring my daughter that I was already taking steps to get healthier and that I wasn’t going anywhere for a very long time, we were able to have some laughs and enjoy our meal.

On the way home we stopped at the grocery store for a couple of quick items and then hurry home to hear about everyone else’s evening. Back in the car, I asked Mo if she was interested in eating healthier with me, which meant getting rid of all processed foods and snacks, like chicken nuggets, corn dogs (her favorite), chips, and sweets. She said “will that help you get healthy and keep you here with me?” I told her it would. She responded, “then of course I will, daddy. Those things are all wants, not needs. And I NEED you.” Talk about an amazing kid.

She brought tears to my eyes. And not just because of how sad it made me feel that she was carrying all of this in her heart, but because of how incredibly proud I am of her and how much she cares for others. Her intellect and understanding are far greater than that of most adults I know. Now, I just fear that this world will ruin her. It’s a cruel place full of cold-hearted and mean people. I will do my best to encourage her to always stay focused, keep being brave and courageous, and to never let anyone attempt to steal her light.

As adults, it is our responsibility to protect our kids, develop their brains, and prepare them for adulthood. I’m quickly learning that if you pay close attention, it’s our children that teach us far more than we deserve.

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Duck(ed) 2: The Quackening

For those of you that remember El Diablo Duck, I present you with the sequel…

El Diablo Duck II: The Quackening

Much like the horrifying incident that occurred on Maddie’s birthday 4 years ago, it was a bright and sunny afternoon. The air was crisp, but the sun on our faces was a relief from the recent chilly weather. The morning started off as any other. We got ready, had a small bite to eat and then took Maddie to school. The birthday girl, Laura, was excited to get out of the house and have a little daddy/daughter celebration. Our first stop was lunch. We decided on 5th Street Pub. The little wanted pizza. It would occur to me later that the original incident also began with a trip to 5SP. It almost feels like some sort of deranged destiny.

After lunch, we made a stop at the grocery store to get items for dinner and get a bag of carbs for the little feathered heathens. Laura insisted on the cart with the attached Volkswagen beetle. Which, if you’ve never had the pleasure of pushing one of these things, it’s like trying to push an actual Volkswagen through the aisles of Kroger, with the maneuverability of a semi. However, was I going to tell the birthday girl no? Absolutely not. I’ve learned. Pick and choose your battles. And the battle was just beginning….

We arrived at Flower Hospital. The water was glistening. The birds chirping. Not a single cloud in the sky. As we slowly made our way to the feeding grounds, I noticed there wasn’t a single water fowl in the area. Nothing. Not a duck in sight. No swans. No geese (Canadian or otherwise). No large warrior ducks. Nada. How could this be? I wondered aloud. Usually this place is teaming with bread thirsty birds. We moved along and found a parking spot near the observation deck. We sat, speculating in the car for a moment. Was it the guys mowing the grass off in the distance? Doubtful. These crazed animals aren’t afraid of anything.

We decided to exit the vehicle, anyways. Maybe we’ll just go for a walk. I opened the bread bag and took out a few slices just in case I needed some hard currency out on hospital grounds. I unbuckled Laura and then shut the driver door. There they were. 3 of them. Large colorful ducks, standing on the curb. Where did they come from?! Laura giggled as they were quacking away. We forced our way onto the grass and began feeding these beasts. They were actually pretty friendly. Eating little bits of bread right from my hand. They weren’t scared. And slowly I became less frightened as well. Laura never showed any fear. Everything was going great…until…Laura ran out of bread. The larger of the 3 approached her, thinking he could intimidate my little one. Then, without provocation, bit Laura on the finger. Just as I’m about to intervene, Laura stands tall, puffs her chest and yells “DON’T BITE ME! IT’S NOT NICE!” Her scolding echoed though the parking lot. The ducks immediately retreated. Sensing they had picked on someone that wasn’t going to fall victim to their bullying tactics. She turns to me with a grin on her face and a tiny maniacal laugh. I stood proud of my little pork chop.

We made our way to the deck and soaked in some rays. Snapped a few photos and dropped some bread down to the few ducks that had gathered. Once out, we made our way back to the van. Just as we took our first few steps, I saw him. El Diablo was standing near a large maple tree. He wasn’t approaching, just watching. As we turned away from him to head out, we were faced with a couple dozen ducks. Where were they all hiding?! Did Diablo send reinforcements?! Was this his plan all along?! But, how could he know?! Laura quickly recognized that we were vastly outnumbered. And out of bread. We slowly backed away. I remotely opened the van door and told Laura to run, sacrificing myself to a potential mauling. I closed the door once I knew she was safe. Facing my own demise, I decided to trick the birds with some sweet kung fu moves. Thankfully, my opponents were stupid and they took the bait! They backed off enough for me to make a dashing escape into the van.

As we drove off, El Diablo stood his ground. His death glare will haunt my dreams for weeks to come.