Tag Archives: Pride

You Can't Catch Being Gay, Karen!*

Disney has really done it this time. As if their attempt to take over the entertainment world wasn’t enough, they are now introducing the first ever openly gay character in the company’s history. *Gasp*. How dare they ruin our beloved cartoons with such filth?! I can already hear the screams of old white people. This will surely be the nail in the coffin for our civilization. We must rise up against this house of mouse.

As you can imagine, with Disney making this announcement, society decided to rear its ugly bigoted head and spew hate and ignorance all over the internet. This will likely spill into white “Christian” homes where the neighborhood moms will gather for wine/book/ignore-my-kids night on “Karen’s” veranda, complete with tiki torches and candles with the words Live, Love, and Laugh inscribed on each one, respectively. Welcome to American suburbia. Inside you will find casual racism and a general disgust for anything that doesn’t think, act, or love the same way they do.

None of this is new, nor does it even shock me. Maybe it’s my naiveite or hopefulness that by 2020 we would be living in a more accepted society. The thing is, what you believe or what someone else believes, makes no difference to either party. You’re welcome to have your convictions as long as it doesn’t interfere with someone else’s.

It is human nature to desire acceptance and inclusion. We are all looking for that special connection to the world where we are free to be ourselves without the fear of admonishment and ridicule. These are basic human needs that we all deserve.

“White privilege” is a fairly new term that has been concocted and overused in the last couple of years. Personally, I can’t stand the phrase, and not because I’m a straight white male, but rather because it addresses a cultural problem with a negative connotation. This causes people to immediately go on the defense before the conversation even begins.

Our culture relies heavily on social media to keep us informed and in touch with the world, from the safety of our own toilet. Think about that for a moment; we don’t break from the arguing and constant bombardment of political trash talk and horrendous news stories, to take a poop. That is how tethered we have become to our devices. This has led to people feeling much more comfortable with how they talk to others. Being behind a screen provides a lot of protection to the would-be bully. These types of arguments don’t happen in the real world, because if they did, a lot more people would end up getting punched in the mouth. There is no civil discourse on the net and morality has been checked at the door.

When we see something on TV or a movie, like 2 people of the same gender kissing or having sex, it’s ok to feel uncomfortable. You don’t have to like it, because that wasn’t the intention. It’s not for you. Every single other scene of love and affection since the dawn of television, has been for you. Congratulations, you’re experiencing diversity.

It is completely acceptable to disagree with how other’s love, pray, eat, work, or play. You have that right, and so do they. It is not your job to go out in the streets and protest for equal rights. You are not required to do any such activity. However, you do have to accept that everyone has the freedom to live their life the way they choose to live.

** “Karen” is simply a personality trait and does not reflect my views on anyone actually named Karen. I’m sure you’re all fantastic people, when you’re not demanding more lemon water from your server.

ego(Maniac)

People that tell you “they have your best interest at heart”, rarely do. I think it’s a very egotistical way of inserting yourself into someone else’s life. It’s demoralizing. It suggests that people can’t take care of themselves and they need your all-knowing advice to teach them. What qualifies this person to dish out advice? When it all blows up in my face, can I put the blame on them? Are they going to always be there to pick up the pieces?

People like to be heard. They like to share their experiences and educate you on what worked for them. The problem is, no two wounds are alike. And they all must be treated differently. Listening is quickly becoming a lost art. With the vast number of forums and comment sections on the internet, no one has to wait their turn. They can just spew whatever vitriol they feel fits the narrative. There is no civil discourse. It’s everyone standing on their soap boxes, screaming to be heard. No one stops to actually listen to what someone has to say. Not everyone needs saving. Some just need an ear so they can vent their frustrations.

Then there is that one person who decides you’re going to get their unsolicited advice, whether you like it or not. This might be one of the most obnoxiously annoying people to exist. I’m sure you know the type. They are usually very loud and know everything about everything. They’re nearly untouchable. They think that because they overcame a hurdle, means they are now qualified to tell you what to do with your dilemma. I try to keep in mind that these people aren’t as secure as they think they are. They need validation. They need people to tell them how smart and well versed they are. They gain strength and grow into a giant narcissistic blob, with every approving nod and thumbs up. They gain speed and traction and destroy everything in their path. When they are called out on their shenanigans, they play the victim.

These narcissists love to make you look good in public when there are other people around to hear them. Then behind closed doors they are mean and belittling. When you see them for their true colors, they feel they have to bring you back down. They can’t allow you to know too much about them. They don’t want you to see that they are flawed and powerless over their own lives, so they have to put on a façade for everyone to see. They’re fragile and weak. If they feel they are in danger of you revealing their secret, they will back themselves into a corner and become defensive.

Through therapy, I am learning to set boundaries. Toxic people just don’t have a place in my life. I will always accept a challenging view point. I certainly do not want everyone to think exactly as I do. However, if the only thing you bring to the table is increasing my anxiety, then please locate the nearest exit and see yourself out. I can rid myself of most people, but there’s always that one that finds a way to sneak back in. I suppose this is inevitable and just a way of life. I don’t want confrontation, but I also have no interest in carrying this around in my heart and mind.

With that being said, what is so attractive about someone with an incredibly inflated ego? What makes people hang on their every word and treat them as if they are the second coming of Christ? How can others not see them for what they really are? Or, maybe they do see them, but they long for a connection and they are drawn to them.

As I’ve mentioned before; if I write about what bothers me, sometimes that’s enough to rid my mind of the negativity. I go back and forth on which things deserve to be fully confronted and which things aren’t even worth a second thought. I must keep focused on what is truly important in my life and rid myself of what isn’t.

With gratitude,

Ryan